"Bits and Pieces"

Dr. Donna Mann

Recently I found a box of yarn and material (yes, I've been in the attic again). There were many skeins of various colours, textures and lengths. I saw my mother's precise written instructions: eight stitches and ten rows equal one inch in Bernato - Aero No. 3 needles. 

I discovered a remnant ball of yarn from a sweater that had been handed down to three sons. I noticed a pink ball of fine wool - a reminder of my daughter's sweater and hat continually used now by the grandgirls on their dolls.

Another bag contained crochet cord #30 fine and half-finished edges for pillowcases, hankies and collars. A new ball of denim yarn remained from a bulky sweater that the youth group shared when they went to the cottage. I smiled when I saw half knit diamond socks that had waited unfinished until they had gone out of style. Picking up a package of cotton squares, I remembered childhood dresses and mother's aprons.

Sometimes pieces of life get separated from one another; they are not misplaced or lost, they are just not drawn together in ways to make life more fruitful. We know where they are and what they are, but in our busyness, we neglect to gather them to enhance our experience.

Like the remnants of yarn, we might have different memories - a celebration here and maybe a doubt or regret tucked in where we least expect them. Shadows of some shame or grief, even a grudge or secret might lie hidden behind a forgotten dream. And then, perhaps several exciting goals and maybe the promise of possible reconciliation and forgiveness lurk in corners of our thoughts. What a hodge-podge of dynamics all within reach of creating happiness or suffering, guilt or freedom depending on whether we chose to encourage or sentence ourselves to despair.

Again like the remnants of yarn, we bring these elements of self together to work toward fulfillment of each other. Amazing how we have just what we need within us to cope with the challenges of life if we balance them to work together.

Without that precious box belonging to the past, I would not have been reminded of what was once important to me. But perhaps more than that, what I can recover, redeem and reuse.

As I dug deeper into a wooden box, I pulled up forty crocheted squares of various sizes, obviously the beginnings of several afghans, a few pillows and a shawl. These belonged to my mother-in-law, items she had moved from place to place over the years.

  Today I look at the yarn and cotton with new eyes. I see these bits and pieces as grandchildren's Christmas presents, mitts for the mitten tree and maybe sweaters and scarves for the women's shelter.

We can pick up the bits and pieces of our life set aside for one reason or another and restore them to our advantage. Perhaps not for the same use, or by the same motivation, but nonetheless with purpose and reason. 

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Donna Mann is a grief counsellor at the Meadow's Retreat & Learning Circle, R.R.#2, Holstein, Ontario, N0G 2A0, email - dmann@log.on.ca.